"Reincarnation is my only hope"

The longer I kept the picture of myself up there, the less I liked it. I didn't really like it that much to begin with, but that was the only one of me that I can find that doesn't make me look like an unfortunate case of inbreeding.


I haven't been online in about forever and a day, so that's why I haven't responded to any comments that I have received, even though I'm sure there are THOUSANDS of them to get to. Yeah, uh-huh.

Because I am the one supreme master of Youtube, I managed to watch almost all of Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street online. I must say, I was quite let down, because I have had multitudes of Tim Burton fans tell me how utterly spectacular this movie was. I realized later that Tim Burton could film the capture and gutting of a kitten and call it a movie, but as long as he showed Helena Bonham Carter and/or Johnny Depp partaking in this act, Tim Burton fans would hail it as the greatest film of all time.

Anyways, my computer wouldn't load one of the scenes, so I went from that stupid ass hammerhead shark boy Anthony saving that blonde alien from the asylum to Alan Rickman lying dead on the floor (!!!) and Johnny Depp leaning over his newly-dead (?) wife. If someone could explain to me what I missed, I would be very grateful.

I pulled an all-nighter on Thursday night, so I was dead Friday. Not that anyone really noticed, because I'm usually grumpy and resemble death warmed over at school. I had an English research paper and a science research paper due the next day, and I didn't start any of them until about 11 that night. The English paper took my until three in the morning (with an hour and a half break to watch Sweeny Todd).

At three, I decided to take another break, and was searching Youtube for more videos for me to enjoy. My friend Holly (who's in my science class) was staying up all night on her paper, so I texted her the whole night. When I decided that I needed a break at three, I texted her and said "Holly, tell me not to watch all of Sense and Sensibility online tonight, because if I do, I will have to go on an all-out Alan Rickman binge". She didn't text me back because she fell asleep (weakling!) so I was forced to spend and hour going on an all-out Alan Rickman binge because no one told me not to. God how I love that man.

Andrew asked me to hang out with him last night, so of course I was at his house in about three and half seconds (I would have been there in three, but some old woman DARED get in the way of my car). We actually hung out at his sister's house which is about three doors down from his. His sister and her husband are SO FREAKIN' FUNNY, and Andrew is even funnier when he's with them. We watched "True Lies" on TV and then "The Uninvited" on DVD, which we made fun of mercilessly.

When we were watching True Lies, we saw a commercial for a realty agency, and it said "Let our agents talk to you". I misheard and thought they said "Let our Asians talk to you" which made me laugh like the horrible racist I am. I told Andrew and he said "Please buy our houses...if you don't, they take our shoes away". That caused my soda to make a second appearance out through my nose.

He asked me to go for a walk with him today, but my parents were being completely sadistic and made me clean my room and do homework instead. I'm sure that if I HAD gone out with him, he would have held my hand and asked me out officially. *fury*

When I was on the bus to AOS one day, my friend Jonathan told me that ever since Andrew found out that I liked him, his artwork has gotten a lot better. "Maybe you're his muse!" said Jonathan. "I hope you weren't the muse for that giant spider he was drawing in Spanish class" said Quinci, always the beacon of support.

Philip drew a giant Dark Mark on my arm and his, but he made it adorable, so now the skull looks like a friendly Hello Kitty skull and the snake coming out of the mouth is quite the cutie. We touched pencils to each other's mark and made our arms wriggle like they do in the movie. My math teacher looked at us for a second, then sighed. She doesn't understand.


Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly.
Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny Butterman: 'Cause he's fuck-ugly.

~ From "Hot Fuzz" (my new favorite movie)

How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?

Picture time!!!

I hope you all appreciate that it took me a half hour to figure out to put this picture up. I spent twenty minutes just copy/pasting. This is what I was like : "What?! How DARE it not work! I'll just copy it AGAIN! See how you like THAT, computer! THE NERVE YOU HAVE!"

Dammit, I just noticed that the title makes it sound like I'm totally cocky and a bitch about how I look. Oh well. I like the song that I got it from.

Anyways, that's me. Up there, in the picture, that is. I guess the red hair and the Luna Lovegood look might have tipped you off.

In AOS, we just finished with chemical equilibrium and now we're diving into the fascinating topic of ROCKS. OH BOY. Of course, my partner is Kale, who if you all remember is the one whose first words to me were "What type of gaming system do you prefer? I'm a nintendo boy myself".

Me: "So you like to play with your Wii?"

Ah, yes, I'm sure you all remember him. As luck would have it, I was partnered with him, and we had to test the hardness of minerals.

Me: *after some deliberation* This one's hardness is a 4.

Kale: Give it to me. *snatches* *does some tests* ...It's a 4.

Me: I JUST told you that.

Kale: You know what's stupid?

Me: I can't even imagine.

Kale: The name Molly.

Me: Yeah? Isn't kale a type of lettuce or something?

This goes on for an hour until I just grab the box of the stupid rocks and hit him over the head with it.

Andrew asked me to hang out with him this weekend, but alas! I am going out of town to some wedding reception. Not the wedding, no. The wedding PARTY. They got married in November, and the party is NOW? Christ on a cracker. This means a six hour car ride with my little brother, who always wants to play the "Ow Game". The rules are simple: whoever can make the other one say "ow" first wins. This means that you are allowed to use a variety of weapons, such as fists, feet, and frozen fishes if you have them.

Also, I have to share the fold out bed in the hotel with him, and my brother fights ninjas when he sleeps. I was drifting in and out of sleep when I heard him go "Welcome to the karate state championships!" in his sleep. I didn't think much of it until I got a karate chop across my stomach, followed by a knee kick to my ribs.

I'm going to go update my profile now. Go have a look!

"It's a Zen thing...like how many babies fit in a tire. You know that old joke?"

~Christopher Guest in "Waiting for Guffman"

"Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?"

I apologize for my last entry that was made of fail. I will try not to drown this one in waves upon waves of self pity.

I know that I commented some of you and told you that Andrew is my boyfriend. He is.......

....he just doesn't know it yet.

Alright, so he said that he doesn't want people to be putting a label on "this special thing that we have". Whatever the hell that means.

Anyways, he came over on Saturday, and we watched movies and giggled like a bunch of sixth grade girls at a sleepover. He stayed for dinner and I'm surprised that he didn't go running for the hills when he actually sat down with my family. He had to meet my aunt, who I absolutely LOATHE with every fiber of my being.

No one told me that she was coming over on the day that Andrew was coming!

*the doorbell rings*
"I'll get it!" I shout, as I bound down the stairs, hoping it's my book that I ordered.
*opens the door*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

That was pretty much how I was informed of her visit.

She has these two little ratdogs that my hamsters could take in a fight and she carries them everywhere with her, occasionally stopping to tongue kiss them and tell them how special they are. Also, she has achieved the elusive status of being wider than she is tall. It's actually quite impressive.

My spring break was pretty uneventful. No meteors hit my house, no convicted felons tried to take me hostage, no animals escaped from the zoo and mauled my arm... pretty much a boring break.

Then I got back to school and realized that I would much rather take boring than the stupidity at my school. There's this girl Bailey who thinks that we have this deep psychological connection because we both have red hair and own the exact same necklace that our mom gave to us from the 70's. Every health class she asks me to come smoke dope with her, so we can "totally connect on a whole new plane...it'll be awesome, sister". I politely declined and told her that I was busy that day shoving rusty tweezers into my eye.

Speaking of health class, I hate it. Every day, this is what happens.

Stupid person next to me: Hey, Molly! Give me the answers, now.
Me: No. Do it yourself.
SPNTM: You're a bitch!
Me: Well, you're an idiot!

So that's fun. Plus, my teacher lectures us on the evil of caffeine and how drinking it will DESTROY OUR BODIES. It's only because he's a Mormon and he's bitter at the world because he's not allowed to drink caffeine. Or maybe it's just that he's an asshole. I don't know.

I have to go to an AOS orientation thing today for the 8th graders who got into the school, and I get to be a guide for the little peons. Can you believe that my math teacher had the audacity to tell me to behave myself?

I get such a power rush wielding my superior knowledge of the inner-workings of the Academy over the underlings. I could become addicted to it.

My new favorite word: Vapid.

These asphixiated, self medicated, take the white pill, you'll feel alright

Much apologies for my long and uneventful absence. The sharp claws of spring break had pulled me brutally into its grasp and it was a hard fight to escape the state of mind that it put me in.

I must warn you of the content of this entry. I am not in a humorous or satirical mood, but one of pondering. Comments will not be returned today, and the epic of my spring break will have to be told another time. If you have come to view my style of writing as always witty and entertaining, come back later, for today is a solemn day.

The topics I discuss will most likely bore you, but as I have nowhere else to write freely, this will have to do.

I have been thinking constantly of Andrew, and failing to understand the strange and freakish pull I have towards him. I do not feel this way about people. I like to think that I am above such trivial feelings. To me, most people are stupid, vain creatures that I have no desire to consort with.

He is different. I have felt it since the moment I walked into fourth period AP World History and saw him sitting calmly in his desk, unaware of the effect he had on me.

The more I get to know him, the more perfect he is to me. The fact that he knows and loves the movies that are so important to me; the way his eyebrows raise right before he says something devastatingly funny or uncannily brilliant; the way his blue eyes laugh whenever he sees me, as if we are in together on some brilliant joke that no one else knows.

Even now, writing these things, they feel less special now that they are out in the open and other people know. Words diminish these things that are dear to me, but I had to get them out of me.

He came over to my house to watch movies with me, and I felt for the first time that I wanted to be closer to somebody. I have never wanted to "connect" with anyone before, and I recoil at being touched by anyone other than my parents. But I desperately want him to understand me, and I want to understand him. It almost pains me to be near him, knowing that he is there and I can't have him.

I wonder what he sees in me. What could a long haired Catholic school boy see in a redheaded atheist girl whose best friends are her cactus Arnold and her body pillow Herbert? What could this boy ever find worth saving in a girl who prefers movie characters to real people, who loves to dodge traffic to find an elusive hubcap, and whose mood swings come fast and unexpected?

Maybe I'm his escape. Maybe the only reason he cares for me is because I'm not of his world, a world of rules and conformity that plague almost everyone born into a society like this. I like to think that I'm his breath of fresh air.

But one day, I fear that the breath will turn sour, and he will not want anything to do with me. Perhaps one day, my antics that once amused and astounded him will bore him and he will leave, saying hollow, meaningless things like "I'm sorry", "This isn't the right time for me", or "We just wouldn't work well together". I am afraid of this day, and until then, I hope that he sees at least a sliver in me of what I see in him.

"What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good"

My god it's a lovely day out. So what am I doing? Staying inside and staring at a glowing screen, feeling my brain cells trickle slowly out of my ears.

I had to babysit yesterday evening, and when I walked in the door, I was immediately tackled by their little girl and hit in the head with a nerf ball by the little boy.

"Now, Ryan has had a 104 temperature all day," said their mother, "so he'll probably just lay on the couch the whole time".

Cool with me.

*10 minutes later*

The kid is bouncing off the freaking walls. He's like, chucking dog bones at me, pulling his sister's hair, gnawing on the cat's tail... He's a god damn weapon of mass destruction!

So that was fun. I needed to flex my child-throwing muscles anyway.

In health class on Thursday, in a last ditch attempt to prevent us from screwing our brains out, we had to watch the video of a baby being born. Marvelous. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A BABY COMES OUT OF??!?!! Yeah, THAT. The whole class screamed, which would have been funny, except THERE WAS A BIRTH GOING ON ON THE HUGE PROJECTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF US.

I'm pretty sure that's going to take at least 11 therapy sessions to get over.

I went walking with Shayna today, sans Michael. I'm kind of glad she didn't invite him, because he's been real bitchy to me lately. Well, not me, but mon amour. He keeps insulting Andrew CONSTANTLY, and Andrew has NEVER said anything bad about Michael. EVER. Okay, he did call him a crybaby once, but that was only because I brought it up. And he is one.

Anyways, since I'm out of things to say, I'll just put up the top played songs on my iPod. If a song you like isn't on here, it sucks.

Top Played Songs On My iPod:

1. Help! ~ The Beatles
2. If I Fell ~ The Beatles
3. She Loves You ~ The Beatles
4. Wish You Were Here ~ Pink Floyd
5. I'm Looking Through You ~ The Beatles
6. It's Late ~ Queen
7. The Middle ~ Jimmy Eat World
8. Eleanor Rigby ~ The Beatles
9. For No One ~ The Beatles
10. The Time Warp ~ The Rocky Horror Picture Show
11. Below Beloved ~ Aleka's Attic
12. Time ~ Pink Floyd
13. Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young ~ Fire Inc.
14. Come Together ~ The Beatles
15. Instant Karma! (We All Shine On) ~ John Lennon
16. Imagine ~ John Lennon
17. Is It Okay If I Call You Mine ~ from Fame
18. Don't Trust Me ~ 3OH!3
19. The Church of Hot Addiction ~ Cobra Starship
20. Who Wants to Live Forever ~ Queen
21. Fat Bottomed Girls ~ Queen
22. Eight Days A Week ~ The Beatles
23. All You Need Is Love~ The Beatles
24. I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby ~ 3OH!3
25. Moonlight Sonata ~ Beethoven

Okay, I have to go see Monsters VS Aliens now. :D

I have become comfortably numb

Oh, how I wish that were true.

I possibly have the most obnoxious friends in the history of existence. Since I g to a different school every other day, it means I have twice (Yes, TWO TIMES AS MANY) friends to deal with.

However, this entry will only concern the flaming stupidity of the Academy kids. Sweet Hitler's handbag are they annoying.

So, two of my closest friends from there Holly and Ebony are in a fight which they think is perfectly valid, though having no solid evidence to even be mad at each other. A few months ago, Holly starting dating this guy named Andrew (bitch stole my boyfriend's name!) and has been a bit.........over-confident since.

This annoys Ebony way too much, and she's taken it out on Holly by being especially bitchy and whiny. Holly has retaliated by even MORE bitchy and whiny. And your fearless leader Molly has been dragged (kicking and screaming) into this not-even-really-a-fight.

Can anyone see the point of this? Anyone? That's what I thought! MY GOD. If they're not making snide comments on each other's appearance/ personal hygiene/ ability to handle hydrochloric acid (seriously. We use it.) they're completely ignoring each other, saying, "Molly, tell Ebony that I think her lunch looks like roadkill".

Bitch, you BEST be trippin'! Christ, I'm not they're freaking interpreter! Holy hellfire I'm THROUGH with this!

I got in a big shouting match with Ebony after Holly got on her bus because Ebony thinks that I'm taking Holly's side, which I'm NOT. Personally, I think they're both being imbeciles, but how would I know? Because, according to Ebony, I don't know ANYTHING about ANY SORT OF DRAMA, while she has been dealing with such problems of this caliber since eighth grade! Well hot damn!, I should just bow down to the all-knowing goddess of boy-drama, her almight Ebony!

Well, let's see what my humble little drama resume has on it:

• My best friend dated a guy who told everyone two days in the relationship that she had given him a blow job, she forgave him; he cheated on her, she forgave him; he emotionally abused her, she forgave him. In addition to this, she was calling/texting me constantly, asking for my advice, and when I told her to dump him, she started crying and telling me that I was killing her and that she LOVED him. This cycle continued for FOUR months. I nearly failed out of school coming to her rescue every time he broke her heart. The relationship ended on a low note, but I won't tell you why.
• My other friend was constantly being abused emotionally by her parents and came to me crying.
• Oh, and just yesterday, my best guy friend got out of the hospital for trying to commit suicide, because I obviously couldn't help him enough.

So, don't tell ME I don't know what I'm talking about. I was furious at her. I almost kicked her in the shins.

...Now I'm all worked up. I need to go punt something small and weaker than me.